Why would I get into bed with an ad-agency?
In TV-land you barely get a biscuit any more – and croissants were officially banished years ago (around the same time as Top of the Tops). In ad-land you can barely move for the hand-baked biscuits and organic lemon drizzle cake. Something’s shifting around here – and its not just banal biscuit-based observations.
Around the time of the public service croissant ban, TV channels were pretty much the only commissioners of content in town. They still hold onto the bulk of the media content purse strings, but that’s rapidly evolving. Brands and ad-agencies now have the opportunity to act as commissioners for content which can be every bit as arresting and have as much impact as traditional broadcast programmes do. That’s democratising and exciting for someone like me.
So, seduced by a particularly saucy shortbread, I’ve found myself running a multi-media investigation for Mother’s Happy to Bed campaign for IKEA – and commissioning content from Booker-shortlisted authors, Radio 4 comedians, ex-SAS sergeant Andy McNab, and PR guru Lynne Franks.
There’s a deeply intriguing creative opportunity here. One that brings together the traditional creativity of agencies with the authentic story-telling that broadcasting instils – all for an audience who just want to consume compelling content, whoever happens to have commissioned it. It’s there for the taking.
Kipping couple imaged from the book Northerners by Sefton Samuels
Kipping in a conflict zone
Following pleasant bedtime patterns is all well and good when you can control your environment – but what on earth do you do when you are literally in a war zone? Former SAS soldier - turned best-selling author of Bravo Two Zero - Andy McNab can give us an exclusive insight of how you battle to grab some sleep whilst on the front line.
“In conflict it’s really easy to sleep, in fact you can’t help yourself. There is a running joke of when you can see people ready to sleep. Firstly, it’s the head nods. Secondly, it’s the neck breakers, where your head goes back. Thirdly, people then fall down against a tree. People’s bodies just give up. It’s so important to always sleep when there is a lull in battle, because you don’t know when the next opportunity will come.
“War is 24 hours so you have no regular patterns at all. Irregular actually becomes the pattern. You have just got to not think about it. You become used to not sleeping in the right places. A third of my 18 years in the forces was spent sleeping on the ground in a sleeping bag. The positive of this now is that I don’t have any trouble sleeping on low budget airlines.
“Some people do find it difficult. They get colds and sniffles easily and they are always the first ones who go down with illness. It’s so important that even if it’s for an hour you get your head down.
“There are two things you always pack when in conflict – a wash bag and a sleeping bag. This is because you might set off for a six-hour journey, and be gone six days. We call sleeping bags maggots, because of what they look like. Once you’re in there, there is no way you’re getting out unless you have to. The downside of this is that you have to take a water bottle into your bag to pee in. So always make sure you sniff your water bottles later to make sure you know what you’re getting!”
Image by photographer Tim Hetherington as part of a series of intimate portraits of US soldiers sleeping in Afghanistan; see more here .
Laugh yourself into bed if the gerbil won’t play
When you’re a child, bedtime isn’t funny. Chances are you don’t want to go, as my Dad used to put it, ‘Up the Wooden Hill to Fairyland’ because: a) fairies were for girls and b) it’s only 7.30pm and you probably haven’t finished trying to train your sister’s gerbil to jump from the light fitting on the ceiling of the dining room onto a Subbuteo mat.
Although it’s entirely possible that that was just me. What my Dad should have said, of course, was ‘Up the Wooden Hill to Monster Land. And if you promise to go to sleep, tomorrow we’ll strap Fluffy to a Scalectrix car’.
Humour at bedtime is very important. No-one wants to go to bed feeling grumpy. With the possible exception of a drunk, horny Snow White. (Seasonal Panto Joke: Trad. Arr.). Smiling as one’s head hits the pillow can only be healthy, although there are limits. I would add as a caveat that laughing out loud during sex, for example, at best puts people off and, at worst, makes the other party think they’ve gone to bed with someone who’s medically insane. And in most circumstances, that’s not a good thing.
Feeling good at bedtime also depends where you go to bed. Swedish pop duo Roxette were famously keen on Sleeping in their Car (even before the hits dried up), Motorhead once argued that there was No Sleep ‘Til Hammersmith (presumably they were staying at the Fulham Travelodge) while Jon Bon Jovi once proclaimed ‘I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead’. I appreciate that for some, that moment can’t come soon enough but I’ll tell you this; I bet Jon Bon Jovi always goes to bed with a smile. Possibly because he’s a billionaire rock star with millions of adoring fans and his own jet yes, but the rest of us can dream, right? After all, that’s what sleeping is for.
So if you’re stuck for something funny to read before you turn out the lights tonight, may I recommend the following publications: Go The F**k To Sleep by Adam Mansbach is a bedtime children’s story for adults, and it’s great. Also the Collected Poems of Spike Milligan are very funny and worth reading, as are the hilarious promises made by Nick Clegg in the Liberal Democrat Manifesto from the last election. Although once you’ve stopped laughing, you may become depressed. Alternatively, forget reading and power up your smartphone. On YouTube there’s probably an amusing clip of a bungee jumping gerbil.
Kindly written for Happytobed.com by Jon Holmes: he of the Radio 4 comedies The Now Show and Listen Against - and with shows on Radio 2 and 6 Music
Horror stories
For thousands of years man has been attempting to draw meaning from what a vivid dream might indicate, though generally it's possibly the most boring chat a co-worker can regale you with in the morning.
But if you're failing to generate any water-cooler "you wouldn't believe what I dreamt about last night" moments, then you might want to change what you read before bedtime.
A major survey by the University of Wales has found that the type of book you read before bed can affect what you then dream about. People who read fiction tended to have more bizarre dreams where impossible scenarios happened, reading fantasy produced more nightmares and romantic literature led to emotional intensity.
But is this the book influencing the dream or rather that certain personalities are drawn to particular genres - or maybe a combination of both?
The research also found that women and younger people are more likely to recall their dreams. So if you're a young man who reads non-fiction and is feeling left out, maybe try a piece of aged stilton before bed - the tyramine in strong cheese might just trigger a vivid dream.
Say a (secular) prayer for me
The idea of saying a prayer before bed is common to most of the major religions.
But what if you’re not religiously minded, yet still want to create a spiritual space before bedtime?
Well, we asked Lynne Franks to come up with a secular prayer for bedtime. As well as being the country’s pre-eminent PR/communications expert, when she’s not in the celebrity jungle Lynne is also the author of The SEED Handbook, GROW and BLOOM.
Lynne says: “I believe that our dreams, when directed positively, can manifest the vision of the life that will truly bring happiness. The unconscious mind is a powerful tool and by using the powerful images of seeds and gardens, we can feel empowered to create our own beautiful day.”
Here’s her prayer:
To sleep, to dream of healthy seeds That bloom to fulfil all my needs I nestle in as my garden grows And I create my vision in my repose Where families dance and loved ones hold tight Good food, safe planet, a peaceful night, To wake with joy and abundance once more Knowing I can create my own life, that's absolutely for sure.
Feel free to recite the prayer whilst joining in with Lynne's jungle jig ...
About Tim Samuels
Tim Samuels is an award-winning BBC TV documentary-maker and presenter, Culture Show and Men’s Hour host. Tim is also creative director of Tonic Productions ; which is part of the family over at Jamie Oliver’s Fresh One Productions.
